Instead, I have now lived through the embarrasment of workmates looking at me funnily while I laugh my ass off.

Please enjoy: THE TROLL CONVENTION!

—

[ 2010.03.17 19:55:57 ] Robert Ger > WTS CALDARI NAVY MERLIN!!!!! ONLY ONE LEFT FROM ALLIANCE TOURNAMENT!!! CHEAPEST PRICE!!!!   Caldari Navy Merlin
[ 2010.03.17 19:56:10 ] Cin Dra’lig > you are a retard
[ 2010.03.17 19:56:31 ] Robert Ger > ur face looks like shit that u talk
[ 2010.03.17 19:56:33 ] Cin Dra’lig > If that was the only one left (if such a ship ever existed) it would be worth more than that.
[ 2010.03.17 19:56:44 ] Cin Dra’lig > speaking of talking shit…
[ 2010.03.17 19:56:48 ] Cin Dra’lig > who is contract scamming?
[ 2010.03.17 19:56:50 ] Cin Dra’lig > suck a dick
[ 2010.03.17 19:57:03 ] Robert Ger > 1vs1 ?
[ 2010.03.17 19:57:09 ] Zas Taken > lawl
[ 2010.03.17 19:57:39 ] Zas Taken > pistols at dawn!
[ 2010.03.17 19:57:51 ] Robert Ger > shut up noob
[ 2010.03.17 19:57:51 ] Ancy Denaries > Well well, look at that. Two prepubertal wankers, smacking it off in local.
[ 2010.03.17 19:58:18 ] Ancy Denaries > Grow up, kids. And take your “internet tough guy” attitude somewhere else.
[ 2010.03.17 19:58:20 ] Robert Ger > dont talk i dont have time for nubblets
[ 2010.03.17 19:58:29 ] Zas Taken > Bob, you hurt my feelings, really, I mean it
[ 2010.03.17 19:58:42 ] Robert Ger > then go away
[ 2010.03.17 19:59:05 ] Ancy Denaries > Hahah! The “noob” insult. Sorry, I shall not bother to smack with you. You clearly aren’t very good at it.
[ 2010.03.17 19:59:21 ] Robert Ger > i told u dont talk
[ 2010.03.17 19:59:31 ] Ancy Denaries > Oh really? or what?
[ 2010.03.17 19:59:44 ] Robert Ger > icant hold so much crap
[ 2010.03.17 19:59:50 ] Avalon Ranger > Oh noes! They’re getting angry now!..
[ 2010.03.17 19:59:58 ] Ancy Denaries > Clearly you’re full of it.
[ 2010.03.17 19:59:59 ] Robert Ger > go play tetris
[ 2010.03.17 20:00:14 ] Avalon Ranger > /emote runs around with his arms flailing. “The Horror!”
[ 2010.03.17 20:00:15 ] Ancy Denaries > (I’m just getting started, Avalon
[ 2010.03.17 20:00:46 ] Ancy Denaries > I’m just waiting for another sexist joke or one of those “your mother” ones, then my day is complete.
[ 2010.03.17 20:00:57 ] Avalon Ranger > Ancy, I like you. You use the shift key.
[ 2010.03.17 20:01:05 ] Ancy Denaries > I try.
[ 2010.03.17 20:01:38 ] Robert Ger > oh nice corp we will take it
[ 2010.03.17 20:02:30 ] Avalon Ranger > Great Googly Moogly. You didn’t even use a comma!
[ 2010.03.17 20:02:41 ] Avalon Ranger > /emote dies a little inside.
[ 2010.03.17 20:02:50 ] Ancy Denaries > Please waste your money on a war dec.
[ 2010.03.17 20:03:02 ] Robert Ger > i know u never undock
[ 2010.03.17 20:03:30 ] Robert Ger > change to wow, there u cant loss anything
[ 2010.03.17 20:04:08 ] Ancy Denaries > Hahah! Priceless! The “wow” insult now too!
[ 2010.03.17 20:04:13 ] Avalon Ranger > That.. That doesn’t even make sense?..
[ 2010.03.17 20:04:38 ] Robert Ger > im srry for ur stupidtitly
[ 2010.03.17 20:04:40 ] Avalon Ranger > You can make billions without undocking in EVE.
[ 2010.03.17 20:04:44 ] Ancy Denaries > For a 2004 player, your smack-fu is weak.
[ 2010.03.17 20:04:58 ] Avalon Ranger > You mean Weaksauce? Right?
[ 2010.03.17 20:05:02 ] Robert Ger > i ♥ smack
[ 2010.03.17 20:05:16 ] Robert Ger > ur potty mouth
[ 2010.03.17 20:05:18 ] Robert Ger > is funny
[ 2010.03.17 20:05:21 ] Ancy Denaries > Well, yes, although I prefer to not use leet-lingo. It deteriorates the brain.
[ 2010.03.17 20:05:40 ] Zas Taken > Avalon, dont mess with him, or we’ll see another “angry german kid” video on youtube
[ 2010.03.17 20:05:54 ] Robert Ger > iem german that is harrasment
[ 2010.03.17 20:06:05 ] Avalon Ranger > Ancy, I just thought it might be better to lower your language to his level so he understands you.
[ 2010.03.17 20:06:09 ] Avalon Ranger > Just to be fair.
[ 2010.03.17 20:06:18 ] Zas Taken > nah it’s not, I didnt say a single cuss word
[ 2010.03.17 20:06:44 ] Robert Ger > ok noobs, i have another stuff to do
[ 2010.03.17 20:06:50 ] Zas Taken > ok
[ 2010.03.17 20:06:53 ] Robert Ger > play safe because iem on ur
[ 2010.03.17 20:07:00 ] Zas Taken > fly safe
[ 2010.03.17 20:07:02 ] Ancy Denaries > Don’t let the stargate hit your ass on the way out.
[ 2010.03.17 20:07:05 ] Zas Taken > *kiss*
[ 2010.03.17 20:07:18 ] Ancy Denaries > You know, I feel better already!
[ 2010.03.17 20:07:40 ] Avalon Ranger > XD
[ 2010.03.17 20:07:47 ] Avalon Ranger > That made my evening.
[ 2010.03.17 20:07:50 ] Ancy Denaries > Nothing like a good smack to cheer you up in the evening.
[ 2010.03.17 20:07:55 ] Robert Ger > avalon how much isk can u spend to pay no war bill ?
[ 2010.03.17 20:08:08 ] Robert Ger > iem sure u will it do
[ 2010.03.17 20:08:15 ] Robert Ger > because im setting it alrdy up
[ 2010.03.17 20:08:19 ] Ancy Denaries > Wait…you do know that it’s the war deccer that pays the bill, right?
[ 2010.03.17 20:08:41 ] Robert Ger > ihope for u u have enough of it
[ 2010.03.17 20:08:41 ] Avalon Ranger > Err. Given that our Alliace is backed up by I.T It will be fun.:3
[ 2010.03.17 20:08:47 ] Robert Ger > now im blocking u
[ 2010.03.17 20:08:51 ] Avalon Ranger > Okays
[ 2010.03.17 20:08:54 ] Avalon Ranger > /emote waves.
[ 2010.03.17 20:09:04 ] Robert Ger > because ur fattaly fatal fataled noob^
[ 2010.03.17 20:09:06 ] Robert Ger > ^^
[ 2010.03.17 20:09:10 ] Isaac Starstriker > whahahahahahahaha “IT”.
[ 2010.03.17 20:09:17 ] Isaac Starstriker > OH NO, NOT IT!!!!!
[ 2010.03.17 20:09:25 ] Ancy Denaries > RUUUUUUUUUUUN!
[ 2010.03.17 20:09:35 ] Avalon Ranger > That wasn’t a threat.
[ 2010.03.17 20:09:39 ] Avalon Ranger > It was just a comment.
[ 2010.03.17 20:09:48 ] Robert Ger > IT ?
[ 2010.03.17 20:09:49 ] Avalon Ranger > I care little for Alliances.
[ 2010.03.17 20:09:50 ] Robert Ger > haha
[ 2010.03.17 20:09:53 ] Ancy Denaries > Still, forgive me for jumping on the bandwagon
[ 2010.03.17 20:09:56 ] Robert Ger > i have Whole NC backup
[ 2010.03.17 20:10:04 ] Avalon Ranger > Yay for you!
[ 2010.03.17 20:10:06 ] Robert Ger > thy will mine ur veldspar out
[ 2010.03.17 20:10:07 ] Robert Ger > hahahah
[ 2010.03.17 20:10:10 ] Robert Ger > i dont need backup
[ 2010.03.17 20:10:12 ] Robert Ger > for u
[ 2010.03.17 20:10:28 ] Avalon Ranger > Well, I’m prepaid for a year and I have all the ISK I could need so it’s going to be pretty boring.
[ 2010.03.17 20:10:46 ] Robert Ger > give me better the isk befor u lossing ur faction noob fitett ravens
[ 2010.03.17 20:10:49 ] Avalon Ranger > And then I have alt accounts to play anyway if you did pin me in a station.
[ 2010.03.17 20:10:56 ] Avalon Ranger > Err.
[ 2010.03.17 20:10:58 ] Avalon Ranger > It’s a Golem.
[ 2010.03.17 20:11:03 ] Ancy Denaries > Weren’t you going to block us?
[ 2010.03.17 20:11:07 ] Avalon Ranger > And it’s pretty well fitted and I won’t be flying it ina  war.
[ 2010.03.17 20:11:09 ] Avalon Ranger > So..
[ 2010.03.17 20:11:22 ] Avalon Ranger > Err. What do they Say Ancy?.. Bring it up?.. On?
[ 2010.03.17 20:11:24 ] Avalon Ranger > Oh I forget.
[ 2010.03.17 20:11:30 ] Zas Taken > on
[ 2010.03.17 20:11:36 ] Ancy Denaries > Avalon, please lot me know how that wardec goes. I heard Zedrik is bored.
[ 2010.03.17 20:12:07 ] Robert Ger > ancy my mom is to bored let me know
[ 2010.03.17 20:12:13 ] Ancy Denaries > There we go!
[ 2010.03.17 20:12:23 ] Ancy Denaries > Combo complete. The “mother” one as well.
[ 2010.03.17 20:12:42 ] Robert Ger > go buy social 2.0
[ 2010.03.17 20:12:53 ] Robert Ger > u needit
[ 2010.03.17 20:12:59 ] Avalon Ranger > You can sleep well tonight now Ancy.
[ 2010.03.17 20:13:14 ] Ancy Denaries > I can buy you a dictionary if you like?
[ 2010.03.17 20:13:19 ] Robert Ger > how much poses u have in 0.0 ?
[ 2010.03.17 20:13:26 ] Robert Ger > 1 ß
[ 2010.03.17 20:13:27 ] Robert Ger > ?
[ 2010.03.17 20:13:34 ] Avalon Ranger > Poses?
[ 2010.03.17 20:13:37 ] Robert Ger > !
[ 2010.03.17 20:13:41 ] Avalon Ranger > /emote strikes a pose.
[ 2010.03.17 20:13:46 ] Avalon Ranger > Tada!
[ 2010.03.17 20:14:00 ] Ancy Denaries > /emote laughs horribly.
[ 2010.03.17 20:14:08 ] Zas Taken > “pieces of shit” I believe, our Bob here has many I guess
[ 2010.03.17 20:14:25 ] Robert Ger > i have alot
[ 2010.03.17 20:14:48 ] Ancy Denaries > And that’s…supposed to impress me or something?
[ 2010.03.17 20:15:06 ] Robert Ger > if u define it so eat it
[ 2010.03.17 20:15:20 ] Ancy Denaries > Way to go at making no sense. O.o
[ 2010.03.17 20:15:31 ] Robert Ger > its higher social u know
[ 2010.03.17 20:15:56 ] Avalon Ranger > I.. I can’t even understand him.
[ 2010.03.17 20:16:09 ] Avalon Ranger > Even Google Translator isn’t giving me anything usful.
[ 2010.03.17 20:16:14 ] Avalon Ranger > And that cna translate Russian!
[ 2010.03.17 20:16:16 ] Avalon Ranger > can*
[ 2010.03.17 20:16:19 ] Zas Taken > Bob, didnt you say you were leaving, like, 10 minutes ago?
[ 2010.03.17 20:16:32 ] Robert Ger > rofl ur noob corp dont have Killboard ?
[ 2010.03.17 20:16:34 ] Ancy Denaries > Yeah, and he also blocked me…like 5 minutes ago.
[ 2010.03.17 20:16:41 ] Robert Ger > ach srry forgett u dont want poast all the losses
[ 2010.03.17 20:16:54 ] Avalon Ranger > Who’s he trolling now?
[ 2010.03.17 20:16:56 ] Ancy Denaries > http://denaries.eve-kill.net/?a=self_detail
[ 2010.03.17 20:17:00 ] Ancy Denaries > Feel free to browse
[ 2010.03.17 20:17:18 ] Robert Ger > lol
[ 2010.03.17 20:17:25 ] Robert Ger > u want impress me with that nothign ?
[ 2010.03.17 20:17:35 ] Ancy Denaries > No. You asked if I had one.
[ 2010.03.17 20:17:43 ] Robert Ger > mostly system ec-pbr
[ 2010.03.17 20:18:00 ] Robert Ger > its like camping 1system and jump out of to empire if trouble
[ 2010.03.17 20:18:04 ] Ancy Denaries > He’s not only illiterate, he’s blind too.
[ 2010.03.17 20:18:23 ] Ancy Denaries > I have 4 KMs in EC. Two kills, two losses. Rest is elsewhere.
[ 2010.03.17 20:18:30 ] Ancy Denaries > Congratulations. You failed the reading test.
[ 2010.03.17 20:18:45 ] Robert Ger > thats the  first site
[ 2010.03.17 20:18:49 ] Robert Ger > and that tell me
[ 2010.03.17 20:18:51 ] Robert Ger > ur nothing
[ 2010.03.17 20:19:01 ] Robert Ger > go sleep child , its time for u
[ 2010.03.17 20:20:01 ] Ancy Denaries > Dude, so far you’ve hit all the bad marks of smacktalking.
[ 2010.03.17 20:20:22 ] Robert Ger > dont talk to me from now, ur nosens
[ 2010.03.17 20:21:23 ] Ancy Denaries > Well, that works. Well, excuse me ladies and gents, it’s been a pleasure, but I have wartargets to harass. Tata!
[ 2010.03.17 20:21:39 ] Zas Taken > see ya


—

EDIT: Whoups! Forgot to mark this as OOC. Sowwy!

I fought valiantly, but some really bad target calling on my part lead to only a single kill, and not a very good one at that. The Asmodai is now space dust, but I don’t feel bad. He served me really well during the year we were together. The Sansha AI saved me a bunch of crew as well, which meant that the human sacrifice was minimal.

Rest in peace, Asmodai!

UPDATE:

Apparently I managed to get a few shots off on a Scorpion as well…

Cthulu ftghan wrote:

I am no longer “new” at this game.  I started early last year, took a 3 month hiatus, and restarted this year.  I have learned many things along the way, and some things that new pilots can learn from.  Some are experiences, others simply observations, and some are downright obvious.  But having played in PvE and PvP (and being horrible at the latter), I have made some costly mistakes.  I have had to commit suicide in wormhole space with my implants.  I have flown a battleship into battle and lost, and was waving my fist at 2 virtual frigates on a screen.  In no particular order, here are some things I have learned.
 
You will die.
 
A lot.
 
And once you get good at things and understand how the game works, you will end up getting wtfbbqpwnzored by 2 people in frigates, and your battleship will be burning with you inside.  They will demand you hand over more isk than you have in your virtual wallet, and you will realize that, in fact, you still know nothing about this game.
 
You will never win this game.
 
This isn’t a “win” game.  There is no level 80.  There is no set of achievements except the ones your set for yourself.
 
You aren’t safe.  Anywhere.  Period.  PvP occurs in stations too.  It is called The Market.  You might not die, but your wallet could easily disappear.
 
You fit your ship wrong.  Again.  That’s right, you always will.  “My Punisher killed that Rifter!  This is certainly the right fit.  No wait, how did that Coercer kill me?  I need to refit…”
 
Check your directional.
 
Check your local.
 
That Maller is a trap.
 
Warp stabilizers might save you today.  They won’t tomorrow, and probably won’t ever again.
 
Inject your skillbook before you leave the station.  Neo didn’t learn Kung-Fu by having it sit in his usb drive.
 
Bookmark everything.  ESPECIALLY when you jump into a wormhole.  This includes where you came into the wormhole.  Because when you are busy scanning and a HAC targets your Arbitrator, you will be in a pod.  And then you will have a really interesting time getting out of WH space.
 
Keyboards are destructible.  Much more so when used as a projectile.
 
Don’t fly it if you can’t fit it.  That being said, DON’T FLY IT IF YOU CAN’T FIT IT.  And the same goes for affordability.
 
That mentally challenged fellow there in local chat calling you names?  He’s not mentally challenged.  Nor is he forgiving when he finds you.
 
Pods pop easily.
 
Concord delivers swift justice, especially for your mistakes, like targeting friendly pods and clicking the wrong action.
 
You can do anything:  Manufacture, explore, trade, pvp, mine, lead a corporation, lead an alliance, wage wars, pirate, transport, be a part of factional warfare, and I’m sure there is more I am leaving out. You can become virtually rich, and you can lose it all.
 
A friend of mine that I used to play WoW with asked what is so great about Eve, and why he should leave WoW.  It is such a broad and easy question, I didn’t know where to start.  But ultimately I told him the most important thing I have learned in this game:
 
Eve is what you make of it.

Corporate information

Good day.

I’ll unfortunately be coming with bad news this time around. Those of you who have been around a good while already know this corp has been through hell over and over again. This join with SMA was the last attempt att getting the corporation to live again.

Unfortunately, it appears the alliance is very inactive and people are reluctant to help fighting in MT.

Our own activity have been dropping steadily due to this inactivity. People haven’t been able to fight, rat or run anomalies or make any kind of meaningful ISK lately.

So, in short, this venture didn’t really work out, so IN ONE WEEK I’M KICKING EVERYONE OUT OF THE CORP AND TAKING DOWN THE POS. I’m not yelling, I’m just making sure you don’t miss that.

You have one week to get your stuff either out of MT into high sec, or relocate to any other corp in the alliance. I won’t tell you what to do. If you wanna stay in MT, I suggest you look up any of the other active corps and join them, if not, move your stuff out before I take the POS down.

I wish you the best of luck in the future, and it’s been a blast flying with you, albeit a bit of bumpy roads.

As for the question of relocation.

Well, I know you probably ask this, but the truth is, this corp has been dying ever since Lalani stepped down as CEO and we lost focus. We had a brief brightness during our wormhole ops until RK kicked us out of Weld. Ever since then, people have been losing hope, we’ve been losing members and there have been a steady decline of members.

I will not keep kicking the dead horse anymore. It would frankly be cruel to you, it’s members, to try to instill any kind of hope in you.

I urge you to stay in CNF public and keep in touch, no matter what you decide to do in the future.

Best regards, Ancy Denaries

It’s as inane as asking someone not to bluff in Poker. It’s part of the game, the big sandbox. It’s all a part of the “take a risk” factor of EVE. The ransomed person takes a risk by paying the ransom and hoping for it to be honored. If it’s not c’est la vie, it’s just a game after all.

I simply honor my ransoms because I can’t bring myself to kill someone in cold blood when they satisfied my demands. That said, I rarely ransom mostly because I pirate in fairly crowded space and help is but a few seconds away.

—

He also goes on to talk about living in wormholes space in this post. It’s something that’s been brewing on my mind a LONG time and something I’d love to do some day. It’s just that right now our corp is bungled up in 0.0 and caught up in inane politics. Also, I can’t just relocate the corp to W-space. Most people in our corp really wouldn’t be able to make a living, or a contribution, to a W-space corp. But some day, I might set up shop in a W-space system. Just me and my alts. All alone.

It all comes down to our new alliance. We’ve managed to secure sovereignty in one system in Pure Blind, but our gateway system out of the constellation is held by enemies, and they have sov in that system. They regularly camp the pipe gates and do frequent raids into our territory. This is to be expected of course, but what irks me is the lack of response from our alliance. CNF has yet to establish a proper presense in our new system, and all we’ve managed to do so far is set up a small POS for hangar and ship maintenance purposes and moved a couple of ships down for fighting the local pirates. These ships are specifically designed for combatting crewed ships, not pod-enhanced ones.

The problem mounts since transporting ships back and forth requires going through the pipe, which is camped almost every hour, making it difficult to move anything that is not cloaked. To add to the problem, our only carrier pilot (we do have several capable, but only one in privat ownership) have been really ill lately and have not been able to do any jumps. We’ve just recently recruited another, which should make things easier when it comes to logistics.

Seeing as we are more or less set up now, it comes down to the activities of our alliance. Will this inaction continue? Will we keep getting kicked at without response? I heard the other night that a stealth bomber fleet assaulted an enemy POS in the neighboring system in order to incapacitate the guns of the spacestation for a coming siege. This is really good news, and I wish I’d been there, but I was currently in a sleep-cycle by then. If we are indeed assaulting our enemies, we might get into trouble however, since they far outnumber us.

Only time will tell if we will survive this.

Been patrolling the Jakemhih and Emsek constellation for 27 minutes. Limited enemy presence at this time. Detected remnants of combat near Biphi gate in Mamet, Sansha cruisers and the remains of an interceptor of Amarrian origin, probably Crusader class. Crew status unknown. Most likely terminated due to vacuum exposure.

Local beacon in Yong registers a count of six in system, two of hostile allegiance, rest at current unknown. Directional scan reveals four signatures. Prophecy class battlecruiser near a belt, two frigates likely parked at POS and a Caracal class Caldari cruiser. Investigation of Prophecy most logical course of action.

Recieve combat chatter on route to belt; Prophecy engaged with Nation soldiers. Move in to assist. Prophecy at 6 Km. Engage microwarpdrive, acquire target, set orbit to 27 Km. Target locked, engage disruptor, neutralizers and tracking disruptor, launch drones. Prophecy destroys Sansha cruiser. Vengeance must be had!

Prophecy engages. Modal Heavy Pulse lasers loaded with a variety of crystals. Estimated optimal range: Less than 10 Km. Estimated TD disruption: ~60%. Final optimal range: 4 Km. Curse is safe at 27 Km, proceed with vengeance. Prophecy aimlessly continues counterattack, multicolored lasers dissipating well before striking our shields. No damage, shields at full power. Prophecy shields failing, Hammerhead drones now attacking armorplating. Limited repair power inhibited by energy neutralizers. Prophecy still attempts to hit us. No change in crystal configuration. Pilot likely in panic.

Rapier appeared on directional scanner. Estimated high threat level, must locate escape route. Nearby belt selected, awaiting enemy arrival, continue destruction of criminal. Prophecy explodes, Thanatos appears on scan, likely at aforementioned POS. Rapier still have not appeared at belt, likely not heading this direction. Caracal has left scannable area. Acquiring pilot pod, apply disruptor.

Pilot speaks unknown language, unable to deliver conditions of surrender, destruction preferred. Security status adjusted. Frozen corpse left as reminder of the power of the Nation. Sansha will prevail! Analysis of Prophecy wreckage reveals lack of fitting skills.

Local beacon shows four in system, only one detected on directional scanners, all neutral. Others likely at Mamet gate, out of range. Investigate Harbinger class battlecruiser at nearby belt. Arrival at belt reveals remnants of several Sansha vessels and the Harbinger engaged with Sansha frigate in combat. Acquire target to assist. Frigate explodes before target is acquired, begin setting up orbit at 27 Km. Harbinger battlecruiser capable of optimals in excess of 23 Km with heavy pulse lasers. Falloff will allow damage to ownship. Apply tracking disruptor to counter.

At 18 km enemy applies warp disruptor and opens fire with multifrequency adjusted lasers. Focused Mediums. Ownship is safe at current range as target doesn’t launch drones. No need to engage microwarpdrive, allowing ownship to work under impulse power towards selected orbit. Energy neutralizers disables enemy vessels, laser fire halts as does the application of warp disruption. Continue destruction of criminal. Havoc missiles very effective against enemy armor plating. Armor dropping very slowly, in spite of good damage. Likely heavily plated.

Local beacon number dropping. Alone in system with criminal now, no help for you. Justice will be served! Suddenly enemy resumes fire and approaches. Enemy vessel equipped with capacitor booster and microwarpdrive. Smart, but not enough. Overload ownship MWD and burst out of range, stay at 27 Km this time, reapply both neutralizers in staggered manner. After his valiant attempt, enemy vessel explodes and pod immediately leaves the belt. Appears this pilot was far more experienced than previous offender. Loot wreckage  for spare modules, then proceed with patrol.

Patrol continues through Mamet. Too crowded for any meaningful attack, proceed to Hoshoun. 3 locals, all in dock. Unable to attack. Ziriert again has several in system, but none in any favourable attack positions. Misaba sees Systematic Chaos attacking CVA. Risk of getting caught inbetween. Return to Mamet. Fly around looking for criminals but unable to find any. Last patrol into Ziriert reveals an agent’s puppet assaulting a Sansha base in an Abaddon. Manage to locate base and head to assist. Acceleration gate delivers ownship at unfavourable position and enemy escapes after having shot us several times. Puppet remains in station due to crimes against CONCORD.

As we turn towards our home base, Ferox class Caldari battlecruiser is located near a belt. Sansha registered vessel wreckages on scan in same belt. Criminal must be punished. Arrival at belt reveals Ferox engaged with two Sansha cruisers. Standard procedure: Apply disruptor, neuts, TD and establish orbit at 27 Km. Ferox armed with several 250mm railguns. Initially scratches shields, but at 27 Km rails are too destabilized to hit us effectively. A single heavy missile launcher is the singular threat. No drones.

Ferox manages to destroy one Sansha ship during engagement. Curse appears on directional scanner. Not sure of its configuration, avoidance of encounter would be preferrable. Ferox launches a mix of light T2 drones, they reach us seconds before the Ferox rapidly disintegrates, Sansha vessel leaves the area unscathed. Ownship enters warp just as CVA Curse lands in belt.

Return to base.

I’m not entirely sure what to make of all this. In her mind, she’s fighting for her nation. A patriotic struggle to preserve a nation that is under assault by a superior enemy, fighting opression. Just like the Caldari once did with the Gallente Federation. Who are we to judge what is right or wrong in this situation? I may not agree with the Sansha’s methods…but does that make it right for me to destroy their nation?

I must meditate on this…

Mass Effect 2 is the second installment in what is to become a  trilogy, beginning with Mass Effect. I’ll try not to spoil too much about the story and instead focus initially on the differences between the first game and this, and finally giving a review of contents.

Mass Effect 2 is an improvement on all parts over the first game and virtually everything that bothered me with the first one has been refurbished or redone in ME2. The most obvious improvement is graphics. The visuals in ME2 are just stunning to look at. As far as I can tell ME2 uses the same engine as ME but the textures, lightning and particle effects are much, much better. It’s especially noticable when you are talking to people and you see their faces up close. No more blurry, smeary textures. There are some minor irritants though, mostly in shape of characters ending up in the wrong position initially during a conversation and “popping” into place. It’s very rare, but annoying when it happens.

The inventory system has been completely scrapped in favor of a new one. I have to admit, the old one was a bit much to deal with. Lots of selling, scrapping and deciding on what to use. In ME2 you have a basic setup of weapons when you begin, as well as one single N7 armor. Your squadmates will only wear their own armor and you cannot change it. This actually makes more sense when looked at from a realistic perspective. Why wouldn’t you already use the top of the line stuff?

Instead of constantly replacing weapons, armors and upgrades you buy research material and gadgets around the universe that your scientist can use in the lab of your ship. These upgrades can be anything from increasing the squad’s resistance to damage, new heavy weapons, more medi-gel capacity, stronger shields, new parts for your armor or a weapon-type’s damage, it’s shield/armor damage capabilities, accuracy or even ammunition capacity.

Oh yes, ammunition. In ME weapons built internal heat when being fired, and you had to install heatsinks in order to improve the heat dissipation. If you fired too much, the weapon would overheat and you had to wait for it to cool off before firing again. ME2 presents a role playing reason for adding an ammo system to the game. The developers felt that ME had too much wild spraying and people really didn’t care where the shots hit, and there were no urgency in making each shot count. The ammo system in ME2 is simply a rework of the heat system, where weapons still build up heat, but that heat is accumulated into heat chips that are ejected from the weapon, then replaced with a new one. Without heat chips, you cannot fire. Clever, elegant and works perfectly in my opinion, even though I’d liked to have seen the sniper rifles have a bit more ammo and not produce such hideous amounts of heat.

ME2 introduces two new weapon classes: Submachineguns and heavy weapons (and the machine pistol, but it really falls under SMGs). The pistol line was split into Heavy Pistols and Machine Pistols, Shotguns is still just one class, SMGs is a class everyone can use and is a “light” assault rifle. Assault rifles are still only usable by Soldiers up until mid-game where you can either improve one proficiency (use a specialized weapon) or add another (Assault Rifles to Adepts for instance), and Sniper Rifles are the domain of the Infiltrator, even though Soldier can also wield them.

A difference here is that you no longer have any weapon skill to improve in order to do damage, which is nice. You can either use a weapon, or you can’t. It simplifies things and makes the leveling system feel more like an achievement than a grind. It does however prevent you from using weapons you aren’t proficient with.

Heavy Weapons are a “Shepard only” deal, since only you will use them. They range from grenade launchers, heavy beam accelerators, mini nukes and flamethrowers. These weapons deal incredible damage, but have very limited ammo. They’re sort of a “get out of trouble” card when you are swamped by enemies or when you are facing a particularly evil mob. Use wisely.

Finally you can import your ME character into ME2 and enjoy a couple of bonuses such as starting at level 2-5, extra credits, bit of bonus Paragon/Renegade, bonus minerals and of course having all the desicions you made in ME carry over into ME2. If you opt out of this you are presented with a “canon” back story, but having played both I can say that nothing really compares to continue your old Shepard.

I could go on forever about the changes, but the rest of them I’ll just sum up here. Side missions are no longer so copy-paste and much more work has been put in to them. There is no more Mako, you shuttle to your location. (VERY convenient).  AI is much improved and it’s noticable. You can really tell beforehand how the combat will play depending on what enemies you face. Krogans will try to rush you, Vorchas are cowards, Mercs usually stay behind cover and try to outnumber you etc etc.

So, what do I really think of this game then? It’s a fantastic experience! While I felt the game was shorter than the first, my game time disagreed with my perception. It took me something around 30 hours to finish the game from beginning to end, not knowing what to expect and it probably would’ve taken longer, had I not been faced with a very difficult choice that pushed me on.

ME gave you many choices that were sometimes agonizing and had wide ramifications, and ME2 is no worse. The choices here really, really matter and many of them affect the outcome of the final mission. Did I mention you can die? Permanently? Instead of just Ashley or Kaidan dying in the first game, anyone on your team can die during the final mission, all depending on what you did up until then. If things go bad enough, Shepard can die as well, preventing you from importing that particular save into ME3.

I can hear you panicking already, but don’t worry! It’ll be pretty obvious to you whether you are ready or not for the final showdown, and you can usually tell beforehand if you’ll make it or just barely struggle through. There comes a point though where you might have to sacrifice something you care about in order to strengthen your team, or brave the dangers to save said loved ones in spite of not being quite ready…

I already spoke volumes about the graphics, so I’ll move on to audio from here. It’s a clear improvement over ME, no doubt. Voice acting is still miles ahead of anything else I’ve played. Bioware really spared no expense in the cast of the game, hiring known stars as Martin Sheen (Wall Street) and Carrie Ann Moss (The Matrix/Trinity). Combat audio is perfect and just blends in there. Nothing that rapes your ears and no repeated combat cries. Mix that all with an excellent soundtrack and you have the perfect experience.

Speaking of experience I can say that ME2 managed to touch me emotionally. While I liked my crew from the first game, ME2 really managed to attach them emotionally to me. I really cared about them. When they had trouble, I wanted to help them, not for gameplay reasons, but because I cared. When I lost some of them in the final mission, I felt an emotional sting. They’re just that well done. Fantastic characters with intriguing back stories, troubles of their own and a personal charm.

Well, I’ll try to wrap up here and just finish this off with a recommendation: Get this game! Seriously. Mass Effect 2 is the best RPG experience mixed with a first person shooter ever.

The Good Stuff

• A compelling and dramatic story that will suck you in and leave you craving for more
• Much improved and intense combat system with clever and difficult enemies
• The best sidekicks ever
• Gameplay that will keep you on your toes and convey the feeling of urgency
• Improved interface, item handling and leveling system
• Very distinct and unique classes, much more so than in ME

The Bad Stuff

• Occasional positional bugs
• Planet scanning can become slightly tedious
• One of the characters cannot be acquired until the end mission (who though this was a good idea?)
• The last mission might be over the top difficult if you’re looking for a perfect run (no deaths)

Final Verdict: 9,5

• Gameplay 10
• Graphics 9
• Audio 10
• Replayability 8
• Controls 8
• Entertainment 10

The Confederate Navy was displeased with the current situation and lack of action and decided it was time to leave the alliance to stand on its own. A brilliant offer surfaced and CNF joined an alliance to move into Pure Blind.

There, with that out of the way I guess it’s time to take the not so short version. We joined Forever Unbound, which at the time really wasn’t much more than a shell for three corporations; CNF, Solaris and Golden Cross Enterprises, in order to start building a member base while maintaining some security from war declarations and corporation theft. CNF was supposed to be “main corporation” where the bulk of the members were to be housed, taught and tried. Solaris was to be the executor corp with a single member in it, just for security reasons. Golden Cross Enterprises were tasked with being the industrial backbone, providing ships and modules for CNF in it’s doings. In return, CNF would lend manpower for protecting GCEN assets and for occasional mining ops, alternatively giving minerals from own mining ops to GCEN. GCEN were also to start recruiting to build up the needed member base. What happened was that CNF restructured to better fit its PvP focus, and GCEN did pretty much nothing, or so it looked like from our end. As I understood it, GCEN got issues with logistics and recruiting, while not properly setting up their hangars and rights, which led to a bit of chaos, never really getting the industry off the ground.

Combine all the above with us being in alliance of one 30 man corporation, and one 2 man corp, in addition to one 1 man corp…We ain’t looking good. We’re looking stupid. So CNF decides to bail on this since it’s not working out. We decide we intend to stand on our own for a while we rebuild our member base and find a new focus. Only days after the split, we received a very interesting offer from the Spacemonkey’s Alliance. An offer involving NBSI policy, potent low sec access and 0.0 sovereignty in Pure Blind. Long story short, we joined up and relocated to Pure Blind. We’ve yet to settle in completely, but we’ve already had a lot of action. Which is nice, since quite a few of our members were getting a tad bored.

Oh, and I got a kill today too.