Carebear in disguise

A tip for all capsuleers. All space pilots in general, in fact! Make sure you are aware of your rights when visiting a planet.

I shuttled down to a city named Highever on planet VIII in the Leremblompes system. They refused to let me land, due to a recent local political upheaval, but I had taken a bit of engine damage from a small collision with some form of wildlife and didn’t have the thrust to return to orbit, so I landed anyway. I was arrested and incarcerated almost before the pod goo had emptied. Not really a problem, as usually in Gallente empire areas they would just fine me and send me on my way.

Highever was different. As a criminal, I was tried by a local “lord” and sentenced to a form of community service with a militia group called the Grey Wardens, probably because of my military training. However, the local political situation which had started this whole “land and be damned” situation turned out to be a bit bigger than it first appeared and the Grey Wardens were called to fight.

Can you believe that these people refuse to use any modern technology? Anything more complicated that a long stick or a sharp blade was frowned upon. In fact, many of the villages in the area still accused people of witchcraft and demonic possession! This wasn’t just backward Matari-wannabes – it was positively insane!

I was stripped of everything I owned, supplied with a dagger and some leather armour, and was forced to march to a ruined city called Ottagar. Here we were meant to fight the enemy who were called something like The Darkspawn. Sounded like a group of nullsec pirates to me, but apparently they were a prolific race of mutated people, driven mad by pain and something called the taint. I think the taint was possibly a chemical based on warp drive core minerals, but I didn’t have any way to be sure. Even after that explanation and an upclose look at a few of them, I still think they are nullsec pirates – probably Blood Raiders.

The story gets even weirder, but I don’t think I can give much more detail as I could be locked away to keep myself and everyone around me safe, but, I swear on my favourite Ishtar, this happened! The Darkspawn attacked, the majority of the Grey Wardens were defeated, and I ended up having to travel the local countryside to end this “blight” with a group of homicidal maniacs who were completely unable to understand anything I said! Any mention of railguns, blasters, air strikes and even leaving the planet were greeted with looks of fear and/or pity. I figured that because I was (effectively) immortal, I would play their little war game until the chance came for me to get off the planet and back to the real world.

So, after three months of slashing my way through hordes of darkspawn, “demons”, “undead” and even a few “dragons” (I haven’t a clue what they really were, but the locals seemed to fear them greatly) I managed to convince the rest of my group to return to highever where I was able to retrieve my tools and sneak away for a day or two and rebuild my shuttle. You should’ve seen their faces when I took off, strafing them with a jury rigged autocannon I had salvaged!

The shuttle barely made it back to orbit, and some local gang ganked me before I could reach a station. But I made it with my pod intact and my ambition now is to gather a huge fleet of titans and wipe that insane planet out of history! With extreme predjudice!! Although, secretly, I must admit that it was very gratifying slicing heads off and playing the “hero” for a bit. I might go back and see if I can help change their views of technology, give them a chance to redeem themselves before I pop the planet…

/save and exit