eddiesleaze

So while the rest of the group was out doing a Corp mining run, I sat in station minding the store as I always do, when I started picking up chatter from my Corp mates.
A couple of probers came in the belt (never unusual) and our ratter who was slightly bored had started harassing them, nothing big, a couple of bumps with the ship, targeting etc..
Finally one prober came in and flipped a can.
It was near the end of the op, so I decided to head out to the belt thinking that I could do the usual.. that is harass them in my starter ship the “Don’t Pod Me Bro! II” and if I get blown up big deal.
As it turns out, our ratter started smack talking the prober in local. Again nothing big, just letting the prober know we weren’t gonna fall for his little flip trick, and of course the prober was egging on our ratter.
At some point one of my corp mates showed up in his Drake to the prober party.
Now we knew the Prober had at least 8 corp mates of his own in system.
By the time I got into system my whole plan to have some fun by annoying this guy went out the window..
The Drake in our corp had already agreed to duel the prober, our Ratter asked me not to interfere.. Fine… I’ll watch.
The Prober took out our drake while we abided the “Rules” and sat back and watched..
No big deal, our corp drake wasn’t upset.. If you going into a fight, you can’t cry about losing your ship right?
Well after the fight our ratter congratulated the prober and even apologized for the trivial smack talk.
The prober then asked if our ratter would like to try, “We’ll quit when we hit structure”.
Our Ratter agreed…
Well now what happens? The Prober keeps going past structure… and calls one of his corp mates in to help, they end up popping our Ratter.

Our Ratter said, “Uhhmm I thought we agreed to stop at structure?” To which the Prober  smugly replied, “I wasn’t at Structure.”

Such is life in Eve…
Lucky for them they warped away before I could unleash the fury of my single Civ Laser on them.

As for you Honorless Prober and Friend beware me, I know who you are and your corp! If you see my starter ship,”The Don’t Pod me Bro II” you’d better warp out or you’ll be cleaning my debris off your shields!

I was sitting in Oimmo as usual watching the corps stuff when I was called upon to do what I do best..

It seems the corp had found it’s first wormhole and needed a guinea pig to venture through and let em know what was on the other side…

Another Job for the expendable Eddie Sleaze…

So I jumped in my starter ship, The “Don’t Pod me Bro” and headed to Mysta.

Once I got there I got a look close up. Impressive.. As I got ever closer, I wonder if it would suck me in. Nope! Boing! I bounced off, seems you have to enter the WH willingly. To the sound of Corp Mates yelling “Go,Go,Go” and “Eddie! Eddie!” I right clicked and and entered the wormhole to see what certain death waited for me on the other side.

…. Hmmmm … Nothin.. Planets,Moons and just the WormHole on my overview…

“What do you see?” My corp mates anxiously typed.. “Nothin” I typed back.

“Let me see if theres anything close by” I said and Started to warp to the nearest moon.

Mistake #1 When useing a wormhole, allways book mark it!

As I dropped out of warp, I looked at my overview… No wormhole.

“Crap! I forgot to bookmark the wormhole and it’s gone from my overview!”

One of my corpmates “Jack” said “Hang on, I’ll come through and you can warp to me.” While I was waiting, I decided to scan the system… “Hmm, theres an Anomally here! I’m going to check it out” and as soon as I warped to it, I got a message dialog box..”You’ve awakened them!”, thats not good I thought to myself, these must be the sleepers I’ve heard mentioned. As I dropped out of warp they targeted me and next thing I know I’m waveing from my pod at the now defunct wrecked starter ship, the “Don’t Pod me Bro”.

Time to warp away! By this time Jack was on my overview and I warped back to him.

Luckily they didn’t follow.

I explained to my corp mates what had happened.. As Jack and I continued to scan the Worm Hole… Well Jack scanned, I was in my pod with no scanner so I sat there. He warped in to them but stayed about 40km out. He got a quick look before they targeted him and he warped away back to me before they could damage him.

Suddenly one of my corp mates who was still outside the worm hole, typed.. “What happened to the worm hole?”

“Crap”, i typed “It’s gone!” I stared at the smooth stretch of space where the worm hole used to be.

“Jack? You didn’t happen to bring a deck cards?” as I pondered sitting in this blank area of space for eternity.

Jack chuckled uncomfortably and started to scan the system again. “There’s a base here somewhere here.” he typed.

I decided to start checking out the planets and moons one by one. After what seemed to be hours, the only thing I found was the POS Jack had picked up on scanners, active but abandoned. It was owned by a corp “Fly-By-Night Enterprises”.

Coming to the single conclusion that fate had dealt me, I announced “Guys, I’m stumped. I can’t find a way out and the thought of spending eternity in this anomaly  with Jack is too much to consider.”

Right Clicking on my POD, I took the cursor over self-destruct.

Waking back up in Oimmo, I renamed my new starter ship, the “Don’t Pod me Bro II”.

Such is my life, my curse.

(By the way.. a short while later Jack committed Seppuku after ejecting from his shuttle in front of the POS we found. With full hopes they’ll find it and go WTF?)

So what that leaves me is at least 2 questions….

If wormholes are so unstable, why the hell would anyone risk a decent character and ship exploring it.

How the hell and why would someone set up a POS in one?

Hopefully I’ll get answers to these questions.

It was quiet passing through the systems. What was missing was the endless chatter of local I noticed in the higher sec systems.

It wasn’t that the systems were empty, they were there, off in the distance or sitting in station. Either occupied in their own channels or busy fitting… Finally I came upon a system that had some chatter. I used my usual chatter starter…

“Hey guys! Anybody here play wow?” It usually gets some sort of response… (mostly negative). I was mostly ignored as the conversation was a heated one.. It seems some poor soul had lost a ship and was berating the group that had relieved him of his bulky Raven…

To my surprise I was invited to a private conversation from one of what I assume was the group that had liberated the angry ex-ravens pilot’s ship.

As we talked, I wondered if he was bored with the pirate life. The overall impression was no. He seemed to be a bit bored at the time, but that happens to everyone. If anything he claimed to find high sec boring. Well that may be, especially if your used to the few rules of low sec. We also talked about the PVP 1 vs 1 challenge. I’ve read about these in the blogs, but he seemed to think they were a thing of the past. Thats a pity, but he assured me that most are groups pummeling the unfortunates or groups against groups.

After our talk I said See ya and headed back to relative high sec .5 and above. I wonder if I’ll ever run into him again?

Welcome to the home of the unfortunate Alt.. Ignored by my creator who is ultimately too cheap to get multiple accounts I’ve been relegated the un-enviable task of satisfying his latent curiosity without risking his main character (the wimpy little slug miner).
So as I travel in my starter ship with my low level skills from my home in Oimmo to places no sane main character would go. I plan to record my misadventures and commentary here…

Stay tuned..

ES