Caldari Outcast

So over at Prometheus’ blog, he’s just finished his write-up on an insane number of Hulk kills. For those of you whose alt’s just lost a 100M+ exhumer because you got caught cheap-skating on your skill training, this post is not for you. This is for the people who play straight-up, mine ’til your eyes bleed, build stuff to sell industrial characters, who aren’t trying to fund a pvp/Eve Hold ‘Em addiction.

So Prometheus shot your Hulk, huh? Well cheer up little buddy, step right up to the wagon and I will reveal the wond-rous, stupen-dous, most a-mazing thing you’ve ever seen in your little life! For just 12 days, that’s right 12 days, if you’re out of your bonus training stage of skill rolling, you too can have a full rack of Invulnerability Field IIs! Add in just a few days of training Hull upgrades, and with the addition of a Damage Control II, you sir can have an Effective HP rating of around 20k on your little mining ship, providing unequaled protection from the scourge of your existence! Friend, you might say to yourself, “Why is this funny-smelling man with a covered wagon that has “Snake Oil” hastily painted over with cheap enamel on the sides bestowing me with this gift of ultimate knowledge without asking anything in return?” Well I’m so glad you asked yourself that, my good man, and what a smart man you are for asking this. No one ever pulls a fast one on you I can see, no-siree, Bob! Y’see, I’m a giver by nature. Never mind that “ISK Donations go to Dresarian” bucket over there, I’m doing this out of the kindness of my own heart, ladies and gentlemen. So step right up and see for yourself the wond-rous protection fitting defensive modules to your ship can provide in preserving your way of life from the terrors of deep space!

(Ahem) ::puts cowboy hat back in “Halloween Costumes” trunk::

And now, a word from our special Guest Blogger, Mr. Kanye West!

In all seriousness, Miners, I respeck you, and I’m proud of you, and I’ma let you finish mining with zero tank skills, but I just wanna say, if you wanna protect yourselves, Prometheus has one of the best posts for you to read of all time. OF ALL TIME! GEARHAJHRaerbjashbzzzzzzzzzz…

It’s this simple: You don’t want to get suicided, Jihaded, or whatever the fuck they’re going to call it next time, I suggest you apply Alexia’s advice to your shield systems, and “Harden Them the Fuck Up.” Without a tank, you can be suicided by a single fucking Gallente Destroyer in a .5 system. Train some damned tanking skills, and maybe next time some yahoo decides to go popping Hulks in high-sec, they’ll run smack dab into the long arm of the law long before they can pop you. The other side of this, is paying a-fucking-tention to your ships. No tank will save you when some infinitely crazier suicideers show up with battleships, but you can safely assume if a bunch of Armageddons show up in your belt, they’re not here to bring you coffee and donuts. Jump the hell away to safety.

Now, on the flip-side of the coin. While I’m not going to wag my finger and say “Bad pirates!” over suicide ganking, I am, however going to propose a counter, since law-abiders always seem to be at a disadvantage. I’m also a big proponent of “don’t nerf, add more.” There will always be people willing to get a big enough group of ships together to insta-pop a Hulk, no matter the financial loss in hisec, and miners will be impotent as ever to protect themselves before the fact, apart from following my helpful words of caution, since any escort would be pointless.

I WAS going to go into long detail on my proposed counter, but seeing as I let this languish in the drafts section while university testing made me its bitch this week, Prometheus beat me to the punch. Read his post, go on, do it.

Does that sound like the ramblings of a madman who just wants easy hulk KMs to put on a board? Didn’t think so. He’s a pretty smart chap, and is more interested in the creation of a, erm, interesting and balanced gaming experience, then simply griefing people to the point of rage-quit.

Particularly, I’m more interested in the revitalization of the Bounty system than I am in drying miner tears with my shoulder. The bounty system, as is, is completely FUBAR. That bounty station button on the station is just a graphic, as far as I’m concerned. Wanna know the truth, hiseccers? Most of your bounties end up going to the guy’s friends. All he has to do is jump clone to a head with no implants, and have a buddy, or hell, a brand new alt pop him, and all that money goes to buying a future gankage down the line.

You can psychonalyze suiciders all you want, call them sociopaths, or whatever big word you just learned in Freshman Psych this week, but the reality of the situation, is if you want a metaphor, and this one’s gonna be a doublebarrled one, so watch out, they’re the kid in the sandbox knocking over your sand castle.

They’re not destroying anything of real value, although it did take you some considerable effort to acquire that Hulk, Mack, or whatever just got shot. If you want to feel better about it, think of tanking your exhumer as throwing some broke glass into your sandcastle. Next time that kid comes along to kick it over, he might think different. If enough people properly fitted their ships, paid attention, and actually played the goddamn game instead of running it like a screensaver, all this suicide silliness would peter out eventually.

And now, for the not so surprising reveal? My other toon is a director in a hisec mining corp. It’s not just a dual-box afk thing, it’s a job I take seriously, for one, because when I’m not rolling around Providence shooting people in the face, I’m well and truly geeking out over the real market economy that is Eve’s backbone; and two, I don’t want to let my friends who I run this thing with down. I am one of those rare people that enjoys every single facet of the game, industrial, combat, pve, pvp exploration… I may skew more heavily toward the combat side of it, but there is something to be said for managing a mining op with my favorite space-sounding instrumental music (the soundtrack that came with 1999’s Homeworld Game of the Year Editionto be precise) and just bullshitting with my other corpmates. And while we may eventually branch out to Providence for some null mining, we’re all smart and aware enough to keep our ships well-protected so we don’t have to spend time in T1 miners trying to scrape cash for a new Hulk. (Plus from the money we make mining, we could replace Hulks at will, so I really don’t see where the tears come from, unless it’s like your first ever. In that case, get another, and make this a humorous story about running smack into Eve’s learning curve.)

We’ve all crashed into it before.

-Fly Crazy