Salvage & Tears

As you may or may not have heard from Arden Elenduil at his blog, is that for the last couple of days the CareBear population of Ruvas has been receiving some sweet and tender loving from a merry band of Ninjas. We have been clearing the space lanes of unwanted rubbish which has in turn made the Bears very angry with us.

So angry in fact, that the area has turned into the Wild West and we have been shot at with regular occurence. Arden being the most prolific with several kills to his name. You can read all about it on his blog.

Yesterday I was scanning down several missions, one of them a Drake who I danced around with for a while but once I went and picked my Gank Ship up he refused to come back.

Suddenly I scanned down another mission and it turns out to be a Raven aptly named Nevermore running the Port Rollette residents rescue mission. As soon as my asset relocation service started I was locked and fired upon by the Bear. I am screaming for RR in the fleet chat as its a 2005 character I am up against and didnt have time to do a ship scan. When I land back at the gate with 12 minutes to go the Bear is not there. Hrmph! Not another one of those shoot and run away scenarios… I really wanted to shoot at someone today…

And as I was thinking this the Bear appears on d-scan. Again the request for RR goes out to the team as the Raven warps in right on top of me. I lock, scram and start throwing Torps. Release my drones to target the bears who quickly retract hers to keep them safe and sound in her cozy drone bay. Shooting right into her resist hole *gigglesnort* the tank soon melts and a reload later this message flashes on the screen:

Your group of Caldari Navy Bane Torpedo hits Mirhona Thetin [MOMES](Raven), doing 3354.9 damage.

Followed very quickly by:

‘Malkuth’ Siege Missile Launcher I deactivates as Nevermore begins to explode.

I was very happy as it was my first kill for a month (well, I have been on holiday) but no Tears. Well you can’t have it all I suppose.

Hopefully the next couple of days will be more eventful and perhaps I can start catching up with Arden who currently is a mean lean killing machine.

Until next time!

On a small side note.

A while back I was at the ice belt in Brapelille where I “rescued” some ice. The owner of said ice, Xymatra, warped out and came back in a Dominix. He didnt take his ice back but he did however jettison another can, hoping I would take it. Not sure my Vexor could handle his Domi I warped to wait out my aggro timer.

Just as it was about to expire I warped back in whilst Set Shwayo looted the can and ran. Coming back to the belt Xymatra locks and fires on me. Suddenly instant Concordokken, with me doing some killmail whoring.

Didnt realise that my aggro had just ran out did you now! This is what happens when you do not pay attention. Also good teamwork with Set. Always fun to trick people into shooting at you when they really shouldn’t.

Over and Out

Logging on a Thursday after work and decide to do some can flipping around Brapelille. There I come across a miner named Vertibirdo. Quickly I swiped his full jetcan and put it into one of mine. I also sent him an invoice (credit to Set Shwayo for creating it) explaining that unregistered jetcans are illegal and any ore will be confiscated.

Then this EvE mail exchange started.

———-

Unlicensed jetcan Use
From: Karksin Eisenheimm
Sent: 2010.05.20 17:36
To: Shammika, Vertibirdo,

FORM #23512-Z-4u7720 UNREGISTERED JETCAN CITATION
Issued by: TEAR EXTRACTION AND RECLAMATION SERVICE

JetCan ID: 486BFG88499HG-3345-588FN
JetCan Contents: See Misc/Ref. Lading Log #4589-54

Operatives of TEARS Alliance, Subgroup: Suddenly Ninjas [YOINK] have issued a member of your Corporation a Citation for the the unlicensed jettison of cargo in a designated space lane per EDEN Municipal Code #223.646.377

Party in Violation: Vertibirdo
Infraction of EDEN Municipal Code #223.646.377 can incur a fine of up to 500,000.00 ISK, authorized destruction of vessel and resulting wreck salvage fees, not to exceed 20,000.00 ISK.

Jet Can Registration Fee ……………………………………………. 25,000 ISK
Astrogation LIDAR Omission Penalty …………………………. 15,000 ISK
Ore Hauling Fee……………………………………………………………….. 5.000 ISK
Disposal Fee …………………………………………………………………. 2,500 ISK
Fraternal Order of Salvagers Union Fund Contribution … 2,500 ISK
Total Assessment: 50,000 ISK

Please Remit Funds to TEARS – SpaceLane Traffic Authority Division
Authoirized Representitive: Karksin Eisenheimm or your nearest TEARS Alliance Officer.
——————————–

Re: Unlicensed jetcan Use
From: Vertibirdo
Sent: 2010.05.20 17:39
To: Karksin Eisenheimm,

Oooh, scary. How about you get down on your knees, and take a real nice deepthroat? You like that, dont’cha? You must be pro in it, if you can’t go nullsec and take out some big guys.
——————————–

Yep, that old record, go to 0.0 and get some real action. But I like it here…

———-

Re: Re: Unlicensed jetcan Use
From: Karksin Eisenheimm
Sent: 2010.05.20 17:47
To: Vertibirdo,

Dear Sir

Verbally abusing a member of TEARS who is only doing his job in keeping the space lanes free of unregistered jetcans is uncalled for. It is a very dangerous and ungrateful job which has to be done by someone. That someone happens to be us.

In the future if you please could keep your comments to yourself and think of what you have done. I am sure that your mother would be ashamed if she ever knew what you said.

Yours Sincerely

Karksin Eisenheimm

———-

Re: Re: Re: Unlicensed jetcan Use
From: Vertibirdo
Sent: 2010.05.20 17:52
To: Karksin Eisenheimm,

Fuck off. Go can flip someone else, ninja.

———-

Punctuation
From: Vertibirdo
Sent: 2010.05.20 18:10
To: Karksin Eisenheimm,

Btw, i almost forgot. Learn some punctuation rules, kid. Your graphomanic texts are really shitty without ‘em.

———-

Ok, I promise to check my punctuation in the future, really I do.

———-

Re: Punctuation
От: Karksin Eisenheimm
Отправлено: 2010.05.20 18:38
Кому: Vertibirdo,

Apologies for not answering sooner. I was out the back emptying my tear containers. They are really full today.

———-

Re: Re: Punctuation
From: Vertibirdo
Sent: 2010.05.20 18:50
To: Karksin Eisenheimm,

Try to eat less McDonald’s. Oh, and that way you can lose some weight too! Imagine, kid, you can double score! And maybe even become a little bit more attractive to gals. Just think about it! Only in a year you can lose up to thirty kilograms of your two quintal obese body! It’s a luck you met me! And i don’t charge a penny for such selfless help!

———-

Then I answer with this little gem right here.

———-

Re: Re: Re: Punctuation
От: Karksin Eisenheimm
Отправлено: 2010.05.20 18:55
Кому: Vertibirdo,

I am only this fat because every time I have sexy time with your mum she gives me a biscuit.

———-

Who would have known what would happen now…

———-

From: Vertibirdo
Sent: 2010.05.20 19:05
To: Karksin Eisenheimm,

Oh, you must be a necrophilliac? My mom died couple of years ago. Sick, kid. Really sick. You should get some help ASAP. Call your local psychiatrist.

———-

I almost felt really bad and should probably have stopped right here. But because I am a man of low moral fiber, I decided to keep going.

———-

Re: Касательно: Re: Re: Re: Punctuation
От: Karksin Eisenheimm
Отправлено: 2010.05.20 19:10
Кому: Vertibirdo,

I was wondering why she was so cold…

———-

Too far?

———-

From: Vertibirdo
Sent: 2010.05.20 19:12
To: Karksin Eisenheimm,

Thanks kid, it was really funny, how you tried to be smart and all) Flip can me again sometime, will ya? Maybe i’ll speak to you again and you will be not so lonely.

———-

After this we had some minor conversation but I felt that my work here was done. NEXT!!

or When all else fails, fake death

Well, I was hoping to start my blog out with some tears and stories of murder and mayhem. Technically this a story of such, but not in the exact way that I intended.

During my evening of can flipping in Umokka and surrounding areas I came across a couple of unsuspecting miners. Being the ninja that I am, their ore was quickly transfered into my jet can in the hope that they would bite.

They decided against taking their ore back, however a scoundrel called Baron Agamemnon rocked up in a Caracal and swiped it right in front of my nose. How very dares he!

I managed to get some assistance from fellow ninja Set Shwayo who also wanted in on the fight. I locked him and sent my single in to attack whilst I closed the distance. Then it all went tits up as they say. My shields and armour melted in record time. Set, when he warped to me ended up 30ish kilometers away from the fight and had to try and close it fast before I was shish kebab. Then this happened.

I quickly warped back to station to get my trusty Scorpion “Lady of the Night”. Just as I exit the station Set tells me his ship has been destroyed. Searching through the belts hoping to find the culprit we finally come across him. And he is no longer in a Caracal. But a Dramiel.

I sent my drones on him and shot a couple of torpedoes off just in case, but we both realised that this fight was going nowhere and he took off whilst I went back to station to pick up a Merlin for some more flipping.

- 1 hour and 32 minutes later -

This time I am roaming the belts in Kakakela together with Rana Morello who’s mining drones I swiped by accident…

Jumping into one of the belts I see a Rokh jetcan mining, with a rifter circling him. They are not in the same corp so I decide to nick his ore anyways. Even though this screams “It’s a Trap!”

He starts to target me BEFORE i steal any of his ore, normally this should set of some sort of warning bell but I think the wine that I have been consuming filled me with a no fear mentality. I swipe the ore and he scrams, webs, and releases the hounds on me, or in this case a full flight of hobgoblin IIs. I last for a little bit due to the stranger in the Rifter helping me out with rr for some reason. But it is not enough and I soon die horribly.

Rana jumps in just as I die and can only watch as the Rokh warps away to safety. Then 2 rifters loot my cargo container and gain corp aggro. Rana dispatches them with ease. Unfortunatley these particular scumbags are using the orca trick and are immediatley back in 2 Ishtars. I don’t want to talk about it too much but it didn’t end well…

Who would have thought that other people use the orca trick?

As I am not the one to disheartened by a couple of minor losses I build myself a Vexor and go out roaming in Umokka again. Just before I decide to call it a day I come across a hulk and a Mastodon. I quickly swipe the ore from the can and the Mastodon goes red to me. I lock, scram and send my trusty warriors on him whilst my blasters chew through his shields and his armour. As I am getting ready to celebrate my first kill for the night he warps away. I should have known, he was only toying with me. Fitting warpstabs, very clever.

Anyways, that was that night, no kills and 2 losses, but yes I did have fun and will hopefully be back with more stories, no matter how good or bad!

Well, this is the first post of hopefully many about my future rampaging and tear extraction in the Umokka area of New Eden. Yes, I am there to stay and will do as much ninja salvaging, looting, can flipping and noob hunting as possible and will document it all here in this nifty blog.

Fly it like you stole it!