Idiocy 101

z0mfgwtf hi! Xious here.

Guess what?!

I’m waiting….

-sigh-

Fineeeee. I went and joined that rookie helping corp I told you all about. The boss wasn’t too pleased, but when I told him I’d make sure he got lots of money, he seemed to be happy.

So yep, lil ol’ Xious is gonna be helping out lil newbies. Help them find their space legs! Looking forward to it actually, totally gonna prank them.

“Hey go here and get this totally awesome item! OMFG PRANKKKEEDDDD THERE’S NOTHING THERE!”

Haha, I made that up on the spot, I’m so witty and charming. Inching closer to that beautiful CNR I always wanted, bout 100M off. Gonna try begging, that should work. I’ll follow people around in a mimi frigate shouting “5k isk pllzzz sir omf plz”. People. Will. Love. Me.

Anyways, gotta spend the rest of the day moving ship GAH. Sooo boring. Just aswell Robots is on the comm link today, or I’m pretty sure I’d self destruct and fly my pod into the closest star. Did you know that Unit 41 left ServeBot 12?! OMG I never even saw that coming, he said he computed her more than any other system. Gimme a tissue!

-sadfaaaeeccc-

Hey, hey, shhh, its me, Xious. He doesn’t know I’m here, so keep quiet, huh.

So today the boss sends me down to 0.0. ZERO FREAKING ZERO! Doesn’t he know I could die. Scratch that, WILL die! A horrible, blazing ball of pod juice. All because he wants some ISK. I honestly thought he was joking at first. We were supposed to be making a Corporation for Rookies so they didn’t, well, die in a horrible blazing ball of pod juice. That I could handle, that was at least reasonably peaceful! The only trouble I’d get is a bit of shield damage from those pesky Sansha rats in those deadspace pockets that the nice girl in Nakri sends me to. Tried to get her number once, lost a finger. Good times, I think she likes me.

But no, he sends me, get this, 37 jumps, 37 JUMPS, to take me to 0.0 so I can go kills rats. WHY?! Someone will shoot me, someone being 100 million gabillion super-mothertitancarrierdreadfalcons. I’ll loose my Raven! I love that Raven, I just got it serviced last week, new inertia dampeners and everything.

Oh well, I suppose the only good thing to come of this is I know that I’m getting a shiny new Navy Raven soon, haha! I can already here it now:

My Raven brings all the girls to the yard!
And their like OMG love me!
And damn right, I’m better than you
I could teach you but I’d have to charge!

Xious the one hit wonder machine, here I come!

Crap, gotta shoot, he’s coming back. I may fake death, see if that stops him, quick, someone, make a flatline noise!

Wh….what?! He let me out?! OMFGGG! Guys! Guysss! I’m out! Haha! Fun time.

Hi, I’m Xious, this idiots character in New Eden. He’s a bit of a unique guy, is the boss. Thinks he can chuck me half way across the galaxy to pick up a Capacitor Recharger!? A Capacitor Recharger?! You don’t even realise how blooming boring that is, not even taking into the account the dodgy people I have to deal with while he sits watching TV. Pah, pathetic! I’ll show him! See how he likes a Raven up his backs….sorry, might have released some pent-up aggression there.

Anyway, I figured while I’m out, I’d fill you in on my travels about New-Eden, why not, not as if there’s a bar anywhere near here. I hope you enjoy these. I know I will.

Before I go, anyone know if theres a brothel near here that takes ISK as paym…NO, PLEASE, DON’T SEND ME BACK! -sadfaeccc-

“Sorry about him guys and gals, he does that sometimes.”